BLOGMAS #21 | The 'Modern' Family


We've had our little family now for over three years, me, John and Noah. This year you probably know we expanded it to a four and welcomed little Patrick on board, and now we are surrounded by chaos so often, trying to raise two boys bursting with energy. But like so many parents, I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel so lucky to have our unit, don't get me wrong times can be bumpy and I don't think anything tested mine and Johns relationship quite as much as bringing a child into the equation, but thankfully we pushed through the tireless quarrels at 2am over who's turn it is to get up, and we're still pretty damn strong as our own little four.
Me and John aren't married yet, no seven years later the dude hasn't popped the question - I mean SERIOUSLY, but half of me does get a little wary when I see statistics like those below provided by Slater Gordon divorce solictors Manchester, 42% of marriages end in divorce, forty two! I just cannot get my head around that, it seems crazy, as I'm now at an age (mid twenties) where all of my friends, colleagues and siblings even are beginning to take the plunge into marriage, part of me doesn't want to believe that almost half of these couples will end up divorced, it seems so sad. Especially when you see that over 86% of lone parent families in the UK are women, I mean, I can't imagine being in that situation, it seems so far from where we are now. But I bet most of those 86% felt the same at one point? It does frighten me a little, especially coming from divorced parents myself, All families are so different, and some families split and become new ones, it's crazy and I dare not imagine that my little family could be a whole new make up, with all different people in a few years. But it looks like that seems to be the case more and more.


For me we became a family when we had children, and I guess now you'd say we are a stereotypical 'modern family' though the phrase I find a little insulting to all the other Families out there that don't fit that mould. Those being raised by same sex parents, by single parents, by grandparents, those with no children, those with 7, I don't think it matters. Family is such a specific word, but in actual fact, it fits a whole spectrum, I feel Family should be whatever you define it as, if that means you're living with your dog - you're a family, if you're alone with two kids - you're a family, if you live with your grandma - you're a family. It's so personal and unique that I really don't think we can say we have a 'modern family' anymore, as the statistics show, so much has changed in the last decade that it would be extremely naive to think that because we as a couple now have two boys it makes us a family. What if we did succumb to the statistics and I found myself alone, I sure as hell would consider my make-up to be a family and would be probably quite hurt if anyone insinuated otherwise.

I think it's important that we realise times have changed so drastically, with modern laws such as same sex marriage (about time!) don't you think it's about time we scrapped the 'modern' family?

*This is a collaborative post

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